Political Nonsense.

So Obama won.

That happened.

And after that happened, holy shit did people lose their goddamn mind. Obama-bashing went on an all time high, and people who supported Romney also said some bad things about our President.

First things first, I just want to say that it is illegal to take a picture of the ballot and upload it to whatever it is you upload your pictures to.

Now, that being said, I still don’t care who you voted for, what you voted on, if you voted, I just don’t care. I don’t. And I don’t wanna hear all about how you voted and it was awesome and about how you stood in line forever because the machines sucked and somebody spilled their coffee on the electronic ballot. I seriously couldn’t care any less than I do right now, which is not at all.

The whole entire political system is just one fucked up mess of messiness.

All we ever hear from are Democrats and Republicans and then laugh at 3rd party candidates. Ralph Nader has been a running joke ever since he put his name on the ballot for the Green Party all those centuries ago (at least I think it was centuries. Maybe millennia? Who knows. That guys old.)

Every 4 years we have to sit through these fucking TERRIBLE political ads. I have an idea that will make these ads WAY better. Scratch the ads. Throw those stupid fucking ads away. Here’s what you do. You find a big Hollywood director and you make a movie. Like Michael Bay style movie. I’m telling you, if you made an Avengers-esque type movie for your campaign, you would immediately see a ton of new, young voters going to the polls to vote. Here’s the kicker though: You have to be the villain in the other party members movie. And he/she gets to kill you in whatever fashion they see fit. Hopefully it’s bad ass, that’s all I care about. That’d be awesome.

After we sit through the shit-slinging ads, we then get to sit and watch two red-faced men yell at each other for about an hour and a half, and then magically pull a winner out of our asses. Here’s another idea. Let’s sit em down, and have them like arm wrestle each other. Best 2 out of 3 wins the debate.

And for the VP’s, we could each have them watch the saddest movie ever and see who cries first. And if neither of them cry, we continue on, until they watch every Holocaust/chick flick in existence. They’ll cry, it’s almost guaranteed.

On election night, Maury comes on stage and has the 2 candidates sit on those blue chairs of his and wait for him to read the results. Do it in front of a live audience, with Jerry Springer there just because. And then, after Florida is done counting their ballots because they take fucking forever, Maury just stands up and says “I HAVE THE RESULTS!” Everyone in the crowd goes crazy and then they all sit down. Maury opens the envelope, starts to read the results, and then they cut to a commercial. That’s just how T.V works people. Then they come back, Maury reads the results, one candidate stands up on stage cheering, and the other runs off stage crying hysterically like they’ve just been told the VP was NOT the father.

Politics could be much more interesting if politicians stopped being rich assholes. That’ll never happen, so politics will be boring, and nobody will really care about them until the next President is elected and then peoples friendships will get ruined because people take things way too personal. Look, you’re not running for President, so if I don’t agree with you or your political views, I still don’t understand why you have to hate me. We both hate everything equally as much, even though we hate them for different reasons.

Pretty much every politician just wants the power and the title, they give little to no care about who they’re supposed to lead, and expect us to like them.

If I ever say anything about politics, it’s usually a joke. I really have no interest in politics or much of anything to be honest.

I’m really just glad I can stop seeing Mitt Romney’s giant red face on my T.V.

The smirk he does gives me nightmares.



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